Evidence of His Goodness Part 1
Solid Ground or Shaking Mountains?
Have your “mountains” been shaking lately? I recently turned 55 so, obviously, I have had quite a few shaking mountains in my life. Some of them weren’t so big and/or didn’t shake for very long and I don’t even remember them now. Some of those shaking mountains made indelible marks on me, and I will never forget them.
Shaking Mountains Crumbling to Dust
We think of mountains as permanent, unmoving parts of our world, don’t we? But when big scary things happen we can feel like the very earth under our feet is shaken or even crumbling to dust. Am I right?
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will never be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed, says the LORD who has compassion on you.
A Normal Kind of Day
Back in the summer of 2003, my “mountains” began to shake like they never had before. At age 37, my wonderful doctor said I needed to get a mammogram. She had asked me the year I was 35 if I wanted to. She said then that she had her patients get a baseline mammogram at age 35 or 36. I had put it off, thinking that nobody else ordered them for their patients until they were 40. Now the conversation went very differently than it had that first year, though. In 2003, she basically said for me to get a baseline mammogram or get a new doctor. Well, she was a wonderful doctor so I went and got a mammogram!
I went for my first mammogram in late July. A couple of days later, I received a letter from the imaging center telling me that they needed me to come back in for alternate views. I did not think that much about it and figured I would call in a couple of days and make another appointment. The same day I got the letter, my doctor called me. She explained what the letter meant and wanted me to set something up immediately so I did. At that point, I was a little nervous.
At the next appointment, they did more mammogram views and they did an ultrasound as well. The ultrasound technician chatted with me while she was doing the procedure, of course, which was to maybe put me at ease. However, she was looking at the screen as she moved the wand and she was saying “I don’t see anything… I don’t see anything… I don’t know what they were seeing… it looks good to me…” then a second of silence and she said, “…okay, we’re done.”
Laughter in the Midst of Shaking
I hope you see the humor in this scene, because, you know how this goes. There are signs everywhere in the hallways of an imaging center saying that the technicians won’t be able to give any info about the procedures and all that. This sweet lady had let me know in no uncertain terms that she saw something and she probably never even realized it. It makes me almost laugh out loud now as I think about it.
When I left mammography that day I felt sure that things would not end there. At this point, I was getting pretty anxious about this whole thing. I was not afraid of having breast cancer but I was dreading the procedures in front of me. I had a feeling in my gut that I was going to have to go as far as a biopsy before this was over.
My doctor called a few days later and told me that she wanted me to see a surgeon, to get a second opinion. She said that she and the radiologist saw a spot that concerned them but they were not sure what to make of it. A few days later I had an appointment to see a surgeon.
Surrounded Now by Shaking Mountains
I went to the surgeon thinking that we were going to decide if I needed a biopsy but that was not how it went. He already knew what needed to happen when he walked into the examining room. He showed me the films from the mammograms and I was scheduled for a needle localized biopsy on September 2. Yep, I was surrounded at this point by shaking mountains – they were all around me.
I was an avid journaler at that time. I wrote basically what you just read above in my journal and at the bottom of that page, I wrote:
Those are the facts…
At the top of the next page, I wrote:
Here is what I know-
…This is not bigger than God is. I dread the procedures but I know I am in God’s hands. I do not believe it is malignant – I will be shocked if it is. However, I want God’s will. I refuse to challenge Him on this – He is in charge – I am His. Whatever His best is – IS BEST!! I also refuse to accept Satan’s will for my life – I am NOT his!!
My “chief end” (or main purpose) is to glorify God and enjoy Him (now &) forever!
Some scriptures I am holding onto are:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Calm amongst Tremors
At that point, I began to concentrate on being thankful for all the beautiful things in my life, especially for the God-given knowledge of the completely unbreakable grip that my loving, all-wise God had on me and my family.
Please do not think that I am a super-Christian because I am not. I am just a woman who knew that my situation was totally out of my control. I threw myself on Almighty God’s great mercy simply to remain sane through all the anxiety and fear and, oh, was He faithful!?!
More next time, friends!